Friendzone HQ #6 By @Tomilola_coco

Hey friends, tomorrow is my birthday and I would post at least an episode (plus I disappeared anyway so you deserve it). I would also be posting an excerpt from my ebook “The Reunion” which would be available for free download on Okada Books in about a week.

The Reunion tells the story of Ibukun Soetan, a woman who is thrust into serious financial troubles by a man she loved and who now seeks help from a man who was once in love with her but who she never cared about.

Now, Yemi Edwards the man who once loved her shamelessly, sits on a multi million naira empire and his teenage fantasies about her still remain. Except now, he does not want her heart, he wants her body; something she is not willing to give but that he intends to be relentless about. 

Because Yemi Edwards did not get no for an answer and because he had to get her years after she told him she was slicker than his average.

***

Flee from all appearances of evil.

That verse of the scripture was one of her mother’s favorite verses and she remembered the numerous times the older woman had repeated it during family altar and family discussions like a CD with a scratched surface.

And as much as she inwardly rolled her eyes when she started, Oyin could not help but chant the verse in her subconscious when she woke up that morning.

Evil was handsome, smooth, witty. Evil was her overconfident friend. Evil was sweeter than chocolate bars and Evil was calling her right now on her cell phone.

She ignored the call, slipped her feet into her bathroom slippers and made for the bathroom.

It was slightly chilly that morning; the Harmattan weather was harsher than a vexed Rapper in a Rap battle and even though she had woken up in the middle of the night to turn off the Air Conditioner, so far it had done nothing.

She had also burrowed under her heavy zebra striped duvet, covering herself from her head to her feet in a bid to be away from the unkind weather.

And even though the heavy fabric had offered her heat, it had turned out to be momentary because now as she opened the bathroom door, she shivered slightly as a result of the cold breeze that welcomed her.

“Ugh” She said unimpressed, she did not like Harmattan season. It was always too harsh when it was cold and too harsh when it was hot.

The night before, she had ended up in Kolapo’s two bedroom apartment after dinner. The beautiful little house which stood alone in a compound somewhere after Ajah had offered her comfort and laughter and good food.

But she’d only been able to take the comfort and the laughter because she had eaten a lot at the Bucknor’s. Yet, Kolapo had not been angry, instead, he had poured her a glass of water and they had talked late into the night.

His feelings for her had been laid bare like Kim Kardashian for Paper Magazine, his emotions uncovered and the genuineness of his heart played out like a movie on the big screen.

And she knew she believed him, she knew she totally believed him.

He had dropped her off at around 3am in the morning, both exhausted from the deep conversation and strengthened from the knowledge of seeing each other clearly.

She had learnt about his Parents, his grandmother, his childhood, his unwavering love for roasted corn and coconut.

He had learnt about her Father’s death; the worst pain she ever felt, her love for fried fish and garri soaked in cold water and with plenty sugar, her love for Amber Rose even though the whole world saw only the sexual woman on the outside.

They had discussed entertainment, politics, nollywood and fashion.

She was beginning to see him in a different light, honestly.

She turned off the shower and made for her Kitchen, there was no way she was bathing with the cold water blasting from the thing. She was going to boil water with her kettle and have her bath with it.

Her day at the Hospital was going to be brief, it was a public holiday and Kolapo and she had plans after her ward rounds. So it was definitely one of those days she was looking forward to; lazy, quiet and featuring a lot of TV shows.

She turned on her gas, filled her kettle with water and placed it on the blue flame burning from the gas cooker.

Her mother had always scolded her for turning the cooker on before getting ready for it but somehow, she had kept that bad habit.

She did not cook much anyway, so it was not something she did too often. And for her, the less she did it, the less the risk was likely to occur. Besides, water was the one thing she boiled often on the gas and that was because her Electric Kettle decided to pack up.

And she was not ready to buy another one anytime soon. Actually, she was hoping someone would have a party and distribute Electric Kettles as souvenir.

Her ringtone caused her to make her way back into the room, she was almost certain it was Segun but again, experience had taught her that he might be a regular caller but he was not the only caller.

Plus after the night before, she knew Kolapo would be a constant.

And it was he calling her.

“KP, hey”

“Hey, Oyin” His voice was low, as if something was wrong with him and instantly, she became worried.

“Are you okay?”

“No” He replied, confirming her fears.

“Oh my goodness, what’s wrong?”

“My Grandmother”

Oyin’s heart skipped a beat, the night before, she had come to understand the deep bond Kolapo shared with his grandmother; she was the center of his universe and saying he loved her greatly was putting it mildly.

Muttering a silent prayer, she hoped that the woman was okay.

“What’s wrong with her?”

“I don’t know. The Doctors can’t say but I worry it might be bad”

“Wow”

“I am going to Ife in an hour. Can I ask you a favour?”

She knew she would give it before he even asked, “Sure”

“Can you come with me? I promise we would be back tonight”

“Sure”

***

Segun was angry at Oyin but with her, he had learnt to put his anger under control. The truth was no other person could do that to him and in the past, he had chosen to believe that was entirely based on the fact that they were very close and he had to find a way to get past her annoying attitude for the sake of friendship.

But as he played another round of PES on his PlayStation, his anger began to threaten to surface.

She could have at least sent him a message or returned his three missed calls.

He did not call anyone that way but he had because it was her and because he knew she was out late with that Kolapo dude.

It was not like he had anything against the guy but he also did not trust any guy with Oyin that late. Plus friends checked on friends, didn’t they?

His phone rang, half relieved and half annoyed that it might be her, he tossed his pad aside and reached for it.

It was Ola.

Slightly disappointed he picked it, “Hello”

“Wassup Segun how are you?”

“Fine jare. How body?”

“We dey o. We just dey push am”

“The twins dey cooperate?”

“Dem born their Papa well make dem no cooperate?”

Segun smiled, that was Ola’s way of responding to his question about her welfare. She was different from half the women he knew, even Oyin.

“Abeg, have you spoken to Oyin today? I have been calling her but she has not been picking. I’m worried because that is not like her. Not even on days we’re fighting”

Segun suddenly returned to the worried mode, he knew Ola was right. Oyin never really ignored calls for so long no matter the situation. And it had been four hours since he had been trying to reach her.

“I don’t know what’s going on myself. I have called at least thrice today”

Ola sighed, “Okay na. I was just calling to ask her about something we both placed an order for. I’d keep trying her sha” and then she added, “How far with you people’s dinner last night? Hope you guys are strengthening the bond?”

Segun refused to be tempted to ask Ola what “strengthening the bond” meant. He knew her well enough to know she was mischievous and he was not giving into her mischief this time around.

So instead of responding, he laughed and said “Ola, you’re not serious. Abeg greet Kayode for me”

She chuckled, “Alright. Bye” then hung up.

Curious, Segun dialed Oyin’s number again, this time she picked.

“Segun, thank God you called. Please I desperately need your help”

“Are you okay?” He asked, instantly sitting up, worried that something might have happened to her.

“No, well, yeah, kinda”

“Please which is the case?” He could hear cars zooming past and honking from the other end of the line. Where the heck was she?

“I have a huge problem. I am on Lagos Ibadan expressway and our car just developed a fault. My mechanic’s number is not going through and… please can you come with your car? Like right now?”

His brows creased in a frown, “Did you just say Lagos Ibadan expressway?”

“Yes”

“What the heck are you doing on Lagos Ibadan expressway? Have they moved your Hospital there?”

“Segun please this is no time for questions, you can ask everything when you get here. But abeg come first. Please.” She said and then quickly added, “And please fuel your car.”

He knew he wanted to ask her a thousand and one questions, one of it being who “we” meant but he knew she needed help first and those questions could be answered when he found her.

He grabbed his car key, slipped into his slippers and dashed out of the house.

***

There had been only one time in his life Oyin had gotten him so angry, he had screamed at her and refused to speak to her for six months.

And it had been because she had put herself in a very dangerous situation.

She had gone out with friends that night, gotten drunk at the club and passed out. The next morning, she had woken up in a Stranger’s bed in Ikeja, all the way from the Island.

He had been livid and had gone off at her, especially since he had specifically warned her not to go out on the said day.

And stubborn Oyin had refused to be sorry, instead she had been bothered about possible STDs and whether there was a penetration at the Stranger’s house.

They had fought, said terrible things to each other and refused to speak for months.

But since then, he had not been so angry at her.

Until today.

He slowed down and parked his car behind her, off the highway.

She had meant her and Kolapo when she said “our” to him earlier.

What was she doing? Where were they going with Kolapo’s old model Camry? How did they end up in the situation they were in? And why the heck did she do all of those things without telling him?

To think he had spent time calling her phone all morning.

He could not hide the anger on his face as he joined them both by the car.

“Thank God you’re here. I think the fault is not something we can fix right away. Can we take your car to Ife? You can drive. KP’s grandmother is very sick and she needs him right away”

Segun was not sure which one caused him to gape at her like he’d just been slapped across the face with a wooden stick; the fact that she’d asked him to drive them to Ife or the fact that she was going to an Ancient town in the middle of nowhere with a guy she hadn’t been friends with for too long.

He managed a smile even though he wanted to shake her so hard, her sense came back.

“You want me to drive you both to Ife?”

She nodded, “Or KP can drive and you can sit at the back so you don’t feel like we’re trying to turn you into a Driver. We need a car so bad and we can’t tell you to return to Lagos without a car”

Segun shook his head, “You for talk am bifor”

“Segun..”

“Oyin, this is insane!” Goodness, how deep was he in her friendzone for her to give him this type of offer anyway? “See I would love to help but…”

“Oyin… I have to find a way to leave this place. They said she has slipped into a coma…”

Oyin rushed to his side and held him in an embrace. Segun knew he was counting the seconds, he was counting the seconds and it was up to a full minute. She had hugged the guy for a full minute.

“Segun, seriously this is not fair but…”

“Fine I would drive you”

“Thank you Segun. I appreciate this. My Grandmother is the only thing I have left.”

Segun wanted to tell him his Grandmother was not the only thing he had left, the old tired car and the shirt that seemed like it had not been ironed were part of the things he had left.

And as he and Oyin got into the backseat and he in the front seat, he wanted to add that Oyin was also one of the things he had left.

The guy had somehow gotten his best friend on his side.

Segun slammed his foot on the accelerator as he joined the highway and continued a journey he had no idea why he’d accepted.

Kolapo was winning at this and he was leaving him no choice but to get even.

Game on.